While I know he had my best interest in mind, it made my college application process much more stressful than it should have been. Fortunately things worked out in the end – I went to my dream school, graduated with honors, and have a pretty fantastic career so far.

My dad? It took him awhile to come to the realization that I probably would not have gotten to where I am today if I didn’t go to a college I was 100% behind. However getting to that point was not easy, and I couldn’t help but think that much of the tension could have been eliminated if we were better at communicating with each other.

So let’s say you’re in my dad’s shoes 6 years ago and you absolutely can’t fathom your child going to any of the colleges they have in mind. What should you do to avoid a whole mess of unnecessary drama? Here are some suggestions:

1.  Don’t be a victim to college rankings and brand appeal.

Everyone knows about the various “best college” rankings that come out every year. It’s easy for parents (and students) to get caught up in the craze of getting into the highest ranking, most-selective schools. But guess what? The “best college” according to whatever magazine might not be the best college for your child.

There are over 2,000 four-year colleges in the US alone and there are plenty of amazing lesser-known schools out there that don’t make the Top 100 for any given year. Use college match tools to uncover the hidden gems that might be a good fit and read up on college reviews to see if current students and alumni believe if the school is worth the money.

2.  Before you express your disagreement, ask your child “Why?”

Understanding your child’s reasons for choosing schools to apply to is absolutely essential to being a supportive parent in the applications process. For me, I only focused my search on schools with strong internship programs and those who offered the niche major I wanted. Size was also another important factor – I didn’t want to be lost in a sea of 100+ undergrads in every class.

When I explained this to my parents they had a much easier time digesting which schools were going to be better for me than others – even if they weren’t completely in love with them.

3.  Understand that picking a college is the first “grown up” decision many teenagers will have to make. 

Badgering your child into picking the college that you would want to go to is a surefire way of alienating them and hurting your relationship. For 18 years you’ve helped your child make decisions on everything from which clothes they should wear, which classes to take, what friends they can hang out with, etc. Now it’s time to let them taste a little bit of independence and plan for their future. This isn’t to say that you should remove yourself from the process completely – it’s important for you to guide your child to the places where they can find answers if they’re having trouble.

4. Be careful how you dish out your advice.  

It’s better to ask questions that make them think about consequences than to accuse them of being flat out wrong. For instance, if you aren’t a fan of your child applying to schools that are all across the country, ask them how they will plan to relocate, how often they’ll visit and call, and what’s their plan incase an emergency happens and you’re unable to reach them.  Experiencing sticker shock at some of their more expensive college choices? Ask them if they’ve looked up any information about applying for financial aid.

Having them find answers to these very practical questions before making a final decision on a college will help guide them into making more informed, responsible decisions. Even better? It will make for a more peaceful college search experience for you and your college-student-to-be.

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Today’s guest post is by Sam Coren, Content Manager for StudentAdvisor.com, a Washington Post education site for college reviews and free resources on “all things college.” You can read more of her insights about the college search process on the StudentAdvisor blog.

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By now, most parents and their students are settled back into the routine of school. Back-to-school night is over and students have their schedules down. Now that the chaos has smoothed a bit, consider this: Nearly 27 percent of college freshmen flunk out, drop out, or disappear mysteriously from their university and college campuses. When your son or daughter waves goodbye from the dorm parking lot, what’s the chance that he or she is going to add to that statistic?

Whether you have a high school senior, a freshman, or even a middle schooler, parents who expect their child to go on to higher education need to prepare those students while they are still living at home. If parents really want their students to successfully maneuver all the temptations of parties, late nights, and skipping classes while culling a college education, a degree, and the beginning of a promising career, they need to start preparing their teenagers long before the end of high school.

And I am not talking just about academics. Academics is, of course, an crucial part, but if your teenager cannot wake himself up in the morning, cannot handle conflict, cannot manage her time and priorities, cannot self-advocate, cannot manage his money, does not know when she needs help or how to get it, then despite a stellar grade point average, that teenager will be leaving home with a deficit.

In my book, Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager, Ready, Willing, and Able?, I show parents that developing the skills for a successful college experience needs to begin long before you wave goodbye at the dorm parking lot. Most of the skills I am talking about are covered in basic parenting, but many of us in an attempt to instruct, guide, and model, end up interfering and rescuing—which, of course, only teaches them that mom and dad will take care of everything.

Teenagers need graduated responsibilities with real consequences. Many will stumble, but when they do make progress, they should be rewarded with more responsibility. For example: extend curfew hours, allow more driving privileges, let them take on a part-time job, even let older teens attend events without adult supervision. Praise them when they show responsible behavior and be ready to go back a step when they don’t.

Let your teenager make his own appointments to talk with a teacher or to make the orthodontist appointment. Guide him to figure out his time and calendar and commitments—you will not be there to do it for him in college. College is a time of much change, more freedom, and new and challenging situations. Students who come already capable of figuring out how to solve a conflict with a roommate, how to safely handle themselves at a party, how to determine just how much time they need to study for that mid-term, are the students more likely to succeed in their academics. Look for the opportunities to give your middle and high school students a chance to mature, to be responsible, to learn from failures and consequences, and to accept challenges. By doing so, you are guiding them toward college success.

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To learn more about Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing, and Able?, go to http://www.pcaroljones.com/ to read excerpts, buy the book, follow Carol on Facebook, or to read her blog.

Last week I did a radio interview with Power Women Magazine about the college prep process and my Parents Countdown to College Toolkit. In it, I discussed the steps necessary to prepare for the admissions process, how to stay organized, and the 10 mistakes parents and students often make when applying to college.

Click the link below and you can listen to the interview.

Power Women Magazine Radio Interview

Something that many families fail to realize is that not only do the schools need to decide if the student is a right fit for the institution (based on application, test scores, etc.), but the student needs to determine if the school is right for him / her.
Websites, such as CollegeBoard.com offer plenty of good information that will help in the college selection process. You can see which schools are right for your child based on admissions requirements, areas of study and even location. College websites also offer a wealth of knowledge that will generally answer many commonly asked questions, such as cost, academic offering, test requirements for admissions and financial aid options. Many college and university websites also offer virtual tours where you can see the campus, the classrooms and common areas; some may offer a glimpse into what dorm life looks like.

Once you’ve narrowed your search based on the information available online and you have a list of schools that will be a good fit on paper, then it’s time to plan your visit. Pictures will show what the campus looks like, but only with a visit will you know how it feels.

Most colleges and universities will offer an information session for prospective students and their parents, very often followed by a tour.

During the information session, many of the same details that you read on the school’s website will be discussed, but don’t forget that these sessions are an opportunity to dive deeper. Usually, it will be an admissions director leading the session, discussing things like program offerings, campus life and the admissions process. They may even discuss financial aid or have a representative from the school’s financial office there to answer questions.

The campus tour is where you’ll get a lot of great information not usually available online. Most campus tours are lead by current students who are well versed in everything the school has to offer. They’ll show you the highlights of the school’s campus, as well as give you an idea about academic routines and social life.

During the information session and tour, there are some key questions you should encourage your student to ask, questions like:

1. What key factors do you consider when making your acceptance decisions? Some schools cut off applications solely based on test scores; others equally weigh everything, such as test scores, transcripts, essay and interview. Knowing this will help you better prepare for the actual application process and better establish your expectations. You can easily get the data related to this question online, but knowing the key factors that colleges consider will be a plus.
2. What are some of the academic offerings outside of the classroom? Your son or daughter may know what field of study he or she wants to pursue, but even if they don’t, it’s good to know what the school can do for him / her beyond the lecture hall. Are there research opportunities or study-abroad programs? These things make for excellent educational opportunities and can help a student build up his / her resume.
3. Is financial aid need-based or merit-based? This may not be an important question for everyone, but some schools offer only need-based financial aid, whereas others may offer both need- and merit-based financial aid. Merit-based financial aid may change as your student’s grades fluctuate throughout their college career, and it’s important for both you and your child to know how academics may affect his or her tuition.
4. What is campus life really like? Do students stay on campus over the weekends? Is there easy transportation to the nearest town or urban center? Are there clubs and sports available based on your son’s / daughter’s interests? Is there Greek life on campus? Is it necessary or even possible to have a car on campus? The college experience is more than just lectures and studying. The social aspect is just as important and enriching to your child’s education, so it’s wise to find out as much as you can about it.
5. Are academic advisers and faculty easily accessible and supportive? Your child won’t have you around to answer all of their questions and help them along the way, and being independent from parents in an important step in the process of maturing. But support is still needed. You’ll want the confidence of knowing that there’s a system in place to aid your child, helping them select courses, guiding them through their program of study and working with them to resolve any issues that may arise during their time at a school. Some colleges have a more hands-on approach, while others are a little less involved. Knowing your child and his / her needs will help you to determine the type of support he / she need to make it through school, and may be a big factor is the school selection process.

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Today’s guest post was written by Sarah Fudin. Sarah currently works in community relations for the University of Southern California’s Master of Arts in Teaching program, which provides aspiring teachers the opportunity to earn a Masters degree in Teaching and Masters in TESOL. Outside of work Sarah enjoys running, reading and Pinkberry frozen yogurt.

Date: Tonight September 26, 2011

Time: 9PM ET

Location: Online–Register by clicking here

Cost: FREE

If you are the parent of a college-bound student, particularly in the senior year of high school, chances are you are feeling STRESSED. This webinar is designed to reduce college-bound stress by sharing common communication patterns that exist and traps to avoid. Participants will gain STRATEGIES for better communication concerning:

• Issues of money
• Expectations for your student’s senior year in high school
• Partnering in the college process

FairTest has documented confirmed cheating cases in 30 states and the District of Columbia in just the past three academic years. Hardly a week, or a day, goes by without a reminder that the mounting evidence of cheating in cities and states across the nation shows no signs of abating. Sadly, neither does the damage caused by the standardized testing mania that underlies the cheating scandal, as explained in a new FairTest fact sheet.

As parents, we need to look at the underlying cause BEHIND the cheating. Is there too much pressure to test well? Are students not taught throughout their lives that cheating is wrong? Has the invention of technology made it easier to cheat?

Here’s an infographic that outlines cheating and it just doesn’t happen in high school and college. Sobering–to say the least

Created by: Online Masters Degree

Hearing from a financial expert is great, but hearing from a parent who has been able to apply wise financial advice and help her kids graduate debt-free is even better!

• Encourage responsibility–While you are still the parent and have an important role in your future college student’s life, promote independence. For example, set boundaries with your child if you will be sending money regularly. Also, determine consequences if your child abuses money that you send such as by not sending additional funds until the next semester. Let your child know that you will be available to listen and offer suggestions, but the ultimate responsibility lies with them. There has to be a balance between being a parent and treating your child as an adult.
• Encourage your child to avoid getting into debt, when possible–Many students and their families receive financial aid packages that include grants and loans. With this in mind, encourage your child not to incur further debt such as credit card charges or overdraft bank fees. Offer suggestions for your child to save money and establish a budget to cover the expenses that come with the college life. Examples of suggestions would be to work part-time on campus, purchase food at the grocery store, and limiting entertainment expenses.
• Encourage your child to use the resources available on campus–The college experience is more than attending classes, but will hopefully allow your child to learn new things and meet new people. So, when your child needs help with talking to a professor, dealing with a rude roommate, or finding an internship, advise him or her to seek out the appropriate organizations and individuals for assistance. While you maybe tempted to speak to someone to help your child, keep in mind that ultimate responsibility remains with your child.
• Encourage your child to maintain balance–Don’t be surprised if your child calls you from college and mentions his or her increased stress levels from classes. Remind your child to seek out attending counseling, participating in fitness courses, eating properly, or taking a brisk walk around campus with friends. Certainly, preparing your child for college will be a time of anxiety for you because you ponder over whether you taught your child and equipped them with the tools necessary for survival in the world. Now is the time to trust yourself that your child is ready to attend college and be available to encourage him or her along the way!

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But perhaps the most significant change in my life recently (within the past year and a half) is that now I am a parent, and am viewing the world through a very different set of eyes.  It affects everything, but mainly it forces you to look at everything in the long term.  When you go through something, you wonder how it will be for your child when he or she goes through it.

This is exactly what happened at the end of last month, when TestSoup attended its first conference: ISTE 2011.  Not only was it TestSoup’s first conference, it was mine as well.   It was an interesting experience, I must confess.  Lots of walking, lots of talking, and lots of hand-shaking.  There were other things too, but those are the three that stood out the most.

As I wandered around the conference, gawking at the amazing educational technology (EdTech) tools available these days, I couldn’t help but imagine what it will be like when my child goes through school.  What will schools be doing five or ten years in the future?  What are they doing now?

As it turned out, there was an entire section of the conference devoted to answering that question, and it was in that section that I spent most of my time.  I wanted to learn all I could about what these schools were doing.  Of course, I wanted to tell them how TestSoup could help them by offering their schools free access to our online test prep materials.  But in talking to people about what I could offer them, I ended up learning boatloads about what they were already doing for their students.

Some of these projects sounded absolutely out of this world.  Building a 3D replica of a botanical garden that you navigate on a computer?  Awesome.  Constructing and programming robots over the internet with students from Korea?  Amazing.  Helping Elementary School students run their own online newspaper?  Incredible.

These were the types of assignments that I hope my child will complete when he is in college.  Heck, these are the types of projects I would be happy to do now.  The face of education is changing, and we owe it almost entirely to technological advancement; to EdTech.

If you are a parent of a college-boud teen or current college student, I strongly encourage you to get involved and see what kind of EdTech can be adopted by their school.  There’s some very, very exciting stuff happening.

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This guest post was contributed by John J. Walters, Director of Marketing for TestSoup, the premier provider of online and mobile test prep solutions.

“Do you know where my ….is?” How many times has a parent heard that question? It’s one thing to lose a favorite toy or a shirt, but if you are misplacing college applications or missing deadlines because you misplaced a document, then it’s time to think about getting organized!

Good organizational skills are important in school and at home. If you are organized, you save time not looking for stuff! You save money by not paying for stuff you already have. And, you get important stuff done on time!

You have a better chance of getting into your preferred college if you are organized. The college application process involves much organizing for planning, testing, traveling, completing applications and deadlines for scholarships and essays. Getting advice from professionals who know the college process ins and outs and having all that information organized is imperative to reduce the stress that comes with the college search process and increase the chance of getting into your preferred school.

So, how do you organize for the college search? Start early! It’s a good idea to start keeping records in 9th grade, so everything will be in one place and easy to find when it’s time to begin the application process. Set up a record retention system for both student and parent. It should be easy to use, centrally located for convenience, and organized so that you can easily find the information you need. A good filing system will have clear labels and plenty of space to handle all the information you collect. Establish a calendar management system/ to do/check list that you refer to monthly to keep on top of timelines for such things as college fairs and visits, testing and appointments with your college advisor.

Setting up and using organization systems will give you a valuable advantage in school and in life! That’s why I believe in organization and its benefits and that is why I have become a supporter of the College Caboodle – an organizational tool for parents and college-bound high school students. The system includes:

• A calendar of to-do’s for 9th-12th grade
• An instructional DVD
• A simple filing system with pre-labeled folders
• A list of the must-know website resources
• Easy to use forms and checklists
• Important financial aid and scholarship contacts

Let this college prep tool turn the whirlwind college application process into an exciting look into your child’s future, instead of a tornado of paper and clutter in your office

Good luck with your college search!

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Today’s guest post was contributed by Isabell Wells, a professional organizer and founder of “All in Order”. You can contact her via email at:  allnorder2@rcn.com or by visiting her website at : www.orderbywells.com.