• Encourage responsibility–While you are still the parent and have an important role in your future college student’s life, promote independence. For example, set boundaries with your child if you will be sending money regularly. Also, determine consequences if your child abuses money that you send such as by not sending additional funds until the next semester. Let your child know that you will be available to listen and offer suggestions, but the ultimate responsibility lies with them. There has to be a balance between being a parent and treating your child as an adult.
• Encourage your child to avoid getting into debt, when possible–Many students and their families receive financial aid packages that include grants and loans. With this in mind, encourage your child not to incur further debt such as credit card charges or overdraft bank fees. Offer suggestions for your child to save money and establish a budget to cover the expenses that come with the college life. Examples of suggestions would be to work part-time on campus, purchase food at the grocery store, and limiting entertainment expenses.
• Encourage your child to use the resources available on campus–The college experience is more than attending classes, but will hopefully allow your child to learn new things and meet new people. So, when your child needs help with talking to a professor, dealing with a rude roommate, or finding an internship, advise him or her to seek out the appropriate organizations and individuals for assistance. While you maybe tempted to speak to someone to help your child, keep in mind that ultimate responsibility remains with your child.
• Encourage your child to maintain balance–Don’t be surprised if your child calls you from college and mentions his or her increased stress levels from classes. Remind your child to seek out attending counseling, participating in fitness courses, eating properly, or taking a brisk walk around campus with friends. Certainly, preparing your child for college will be a time of anxiety for you because you ponder over whether you taught your child and equipped them with the tools necessary for survival in the world. Now is the time to trust yourself that your child is ready to attend college and be available to encourage him or her along the way!

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1. Introspection is essential. It is vitally important that you know yourself before you pursue higher education.
2. Passionate action outweighs school. Real-world success proves more than homework.
3. Self-motivation is requisite for success. Taking initiative is more valuable than completing assignments.

I have anticipated this movement would start for a long time. I saw it coming based on high tuition costs and high student loan debt, the lack of actual learning that is going on in college and being taught by TA’s or tenured professors with antiquated teaching techniques, and the recent stories in the news about taking the non-college path to entrepreneurship. I’m sure that educators will scoff at this movement, college students will respond in defense, and parents will want to steer their kids away from the website.

We can throw tomatoes at this movement, deny its premise and take a firm stand against it, or we can ask these pertinent questions:

1. Why is this movement happening?
2. Is there something we can learn from their theory of self-directed education?
3. As parents, how can we use this to start a conversation with our kids about higher education?
4. Does higher education need to take at look at what is wrong and work to improve or fix it?

In my opinion, these questions need to be discussed and answered, if not for the rising tuition costs alone and the perceived value of a college education.

Take some time and read the blog post mentioned above and see the two different viewpoints: one from a Boston University college student and the other from the leader of the UnCollege movement. Both sides make valid points, depending on your point of view.

Here’s another article about the founder of UnCollege.org:

California teen entrepreneur asks: College? Who needs it?

Does this movement strike fear in your heart as a parent? Do you agree or disagree with their premise?

___________________________

Another article that might interest parents:

College vs. Real Life: Pros and Cons

She would answer my leading question with a loud and emphatic, “NO”, based on her experience dealing with those who are not prepared to attend college and don’t understand the consequences of borrowing money that they can’t pay back. They have been convinced that without a college education, they can’t get a job or pursue a career. They’ve been told by someone that it doesn’t matter how much money you borrow as long as you get that degree. Once you get that degree you can earn enough money to pay back what you’ve borrowed. But we all know that’s not often the case.

In the above mentioned article, the English professor makes an interesting point:

America, ever-idealistic, seems wary of the vocational-education track. We are not comfortable limiting anyone’s options. Telling someone that college is not for him seems harsh and classist and British, as though we were sentencing him to a life in the coal mines. I sympathize with this stance; I subscribe to the American ideal.

Sending everyone under the sun to college is a noble initiative. Academia is all for it, naturally. Industry is all for it; some companies even help with tuition costs. Government is all for it; the truly needy have lots of opportunities for financial aid. The media applauds it—try to imagine someone speaking out against the idea. To oppose such a scheme of inclusion would be positively churlish.

I’ve come to realize that Americans truly are snobs. We brag about what we have and what we have obtained. Like it or not, we are a classist society. We snub our noses at those who haven’t been to college and brag heavily about our numerous degrees as if they are badges of honor. And while graduating from college is an accomplishment, so is learning a trade.

Often, we push our kids to attend college when we know it’s not for them. Why? Because we are a society that measures success by the number of degrees hanging on a wall or the dollar signs that can be found on our bank accounts. It is noble to dream big and education is always a noble goal. But so is being a plumber, a carpenter, a cosmetologist or a civil servant like a police officer or fireman.

What’s my point? My point is that you need to know your child. If they want to go to college and have the skills and knowledge they need to be successful there, then encourage them to go. But if they aren’t interested or motivated, save yourself some heartache, disappointment and money by letting them pursue a trade. There are so many fabulous careers out there that they can do without higher education. You will be happier, they will be happier and they will fill an important role in society. College really isn’t for everyone.

Here’s my Top 10 list of things every parent should know:

1. What is hooking up?

The term “hook up” is vague, but is usually defined as a no-commitment, physical encounter with a stranger or acquaintance. Hooking up can range from just a casual get-together to a make out session to sexual intercourse. Knowing this makes it difficult to discern just what it means when your college student tells you they “hooked up” with so and so.

2. Hooking up is today’s alternative to dating.

When we were in school, everyone dated. That meant going to the movies, out for pizza, and spending time together getting to know one another. In today’s culture, hooking up often precedes the dating.

3. Hooking up IS happening on campus.

According to the article on CNN.com, “various academic studies have cited at least 75 percent of women have engaged in hooking up on campus, and the number is usually higher for men.”  If your college-bound teen enters that culture, they are going to be confronted with this type of behavior.

4. Hooking up is every parent’s nightmare.

Yes. It brings terror into our hearts to think that our sweet little child would even consider hooking up with an absolute stranger. But the unfortunate reality is that it does happen and it’s your job as a parent to be informed and help your college-bound teen to be prepared.

5. Not EVERY college student is doing it.

This knowledge will help you in talking with your teen about his or her options. Many college campuses have groups that exist to offer alternatives to hooking up and give students the power to say no to that culture. (Check out the Love and Fidelity Network)

6. You need to have the sex talk with your college bound teen BEFORE they leave for college.

This means you need to open up the dialogue about hooking up, what it means, and the fact that they have choices. You are the most powerful influence on your child and now is the time to get them the information they need before they leave home. They may act like they aren’t listening, but they are. Look for opportunities to discuss the risks of hooking up and the alternatives.

7. Denial is NOT an option.

Hiding your head in the sand is not the way to address this issue. It’s your job as a Parent College Coach to accept the reality of this culture and prepare your teen for his or her first hooking up encounter on campus. When it happens (and it will) it won’t blind side them, giving them with options.

8. Peer pressure is a HUGE factor.

Peer pressure in college can be even greater than in high school. Your child is alone, surrounded by all types of behavior. You aren’t there to pull in the reins and they are free to go in any direction they choose. The hook up culture can be hard to avoid; and if your college student decides to go Greek, the pressure intensifies.

9. Hooking up is most often precipitated by alcohol.

The drinking culture on college campuses drives the hook up culture. Young, naïve students get drunk and lose control of their emotions. Hooking up becomes easier and it provides opportunities for your college student to be coerced into something they might not necessarily choose when sober.

10. It’s a choice your college-bound teen will make.

Your child will have the power to choose. They can choose to hook up or choose not to. They are free to make that choice and it’s a choice that they will be confronted with when they go off to college. Arming them with the knowledge of how to respond to this choice allows them to protect themselves.

Parenting, on the best day, is hard. It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to trust. It’s hard to believe that the child we raised has become independent and knows what they need to know to survive in the world. But it’s our goal as parents to provide them with the knowledge and the tools they need to survive.

Further reading:

No Hooking Up, No Sex for some Coeds

The Sociology of Hooking Up

Hook-Up Survey Presented at Sociology Conference

The hookup culture: Having casual relationships is the new dating

Paul is quoted on SmartMoney.com as an admissions expert. You can read the entire article “The Error-Free College Application” by clicking here.

You can contact Paul online at:

PreCollegePrep.com

His blog: College Blogaversity

Twitter: VideoCoach

Facebook: PreCollegePrep

Here’s a great article for your college-bound teen about STAYING ORGANIZED in college. This is one of my favorite topics for parent college coaches as well. It’s the only way to avoid feeling overwhelmed!

Getting to school means … being slapped in the face with a semester’s worth of work. Stacks of syllabi have you overwhelmed? Breathe. We show you how to manage.

You’ve been on the college scene for a few weeks, having the time of your life and wondering what all the university hype is about. So far, all you’ve had to do for your grades’ sake is skim some course readings and listen to a few professors babble in the lecture hall. But then … BAM! After an enlightening series of classes one fine Monday, you realize you’ve got a biology exam and two 1,000-word essays on Homer and Joyce due — all by the end of the week.

Uh-huh. This scenario is all too common, even among seasoned students.
Sure, you can survive it, even if it means pulling a few all-nighters. But if you always let everything pile up until crunch time, your grades will eventually suffer. And so will you.

So how can you avoid epic battles with tests and deadlines so you don’t become a scholastic casualty? Stop stressing. Now. You can tackle time management and stay organized so your course work doesn’t get the better of you. Here’s how:

•    Stay on top of things! May sound like a no-brainer, but no kidding: If you don’t want schoolwork to pile up, you need to actively be aware of when it’s due. Pick up a portable planner — or if you’re computer-oriented, try an app like Google Calendar, which also conveniently syncs with your Gmail account — and copy the entire semester’s worth of assignments, exams and due dates into it from each class’s syllabus. And while we’re on the subject, be sure to carefully read all your syllabi. You may find sneaky stuff hidden in there, like “one full letter-grade drop for every unexcused absence” (true story). It’s better to know sooner rather than later.

•    Got notes? When you’re trying to figure out what’s crucial to know for a test or how to arrange course content into a viable essay, having good notes can be a real lifesaver, so pick up a few loose-leaf notebooks for jotting down info. We don’t recommend taking notes on your laptop — you risk getting distracted by the Internet and missing most of what’s said. Besides, paper provides a much more harmless way of keeping you entertained during idle moments (i.e., doodling).

•    Beating writer’s block When it comes to writing essays, getting those first couple of sentences down — or even just making an outline — can be a challenge, especially if it’s your first assignment. David Uskovich, a writing consultant at the University of Texas-Austin’s writing center stresses the importance of research: “It can put you in conversation with the material you’re trying to cover, which will help you make some connections so you’ll have something to start from when you actually sit down to write the paper.”

Freelance writer Lauren Brown, whose first young-adult novel is due out in the fall of 2010, offers this useful tip: “When I was in college at University of South Florida and had a paper due, there was nothing worse than staring at a blank computer screen and feeling like I had no thoughts in my head. The secret is to slowly condition your brain to start flowing by simply taking a few minutes to write via stream of consciousness. Just write down anything that comes to mind, even if you literally keep writing over and over, ‘Nothing is coming to mind.’ Eventually, your brain will warm up and more fluid sentences will emerge. After maybe 15 minutes or so of doing this, try again to start your paper. You’ll notice that you feel a bit more focused, way more relaxed, a little more creative and a lot less overwhelmed. Anytime you get stuck, just take a break and repeat this exercise.”

•    Outwit exams College tests come in many shapes and sizes, but as a general rule, liberal arts classes usually stick to short-answer and essay-oriented exams, while math and sciences often lean toward a multiple-choice format. For essay exams, it helps to find out beforehand from your professor or T.A. what the test will cover. It never hurts to ask them point-blank a couple of days before the test.

Third-year UT-Austin biology major Ben Cox points out that you can sometimes find many multiple-choice test questions from homework of previous years: “Math and science professors often take the basic idea of homework questions, even optional homework, and tweak only a few figures, leaving the concepts tested by the question intact.”

If you can get your hands on exams from previous semesters, these can also be helpful. Just ask around to find out who’s taken the class before you, or find out if your professor posts old exams on the course Web site. (Note: As long as you’re not memorizing answers, we don’t count this as cheating, but check out your school’s policy to avoid things like, duh, expulsion.)

“While the questions and even content might vary some from year to year, knowing the way your professors format their tests will do wonders for your preparedness,” says Cox.

So there you have it. Just by being organized and putting forth the effort to adequately prep for tests and assignments, you’ll be able to get more z’s … and more A’s — which is sure to put you on good terms with the parentals. And that always comes in handy, of course, whenever you want an “extra something.”

Q. Is it ok for my teen to drop a high school course mid year?

A. Even if your college-bound teen comes to you and says that colleges won’t see their grades and it doesn’t matter, don’t cave. Colleges will make the admissions decision before final grades but they will also request an end of the year transcript. If your teen drops a course it will show there and may raise concerns.

Guidance counselors, with good reason, are vehemently against dropping courses. Some schools even require parents and students to sign a letter acknowledging the risk they are taking related to college admission.

According to Lee Bierer, an independent college adviser in Charlotte, North Carolina, “some students try to get creative and suggest substituting an online course instead of the one offered at their high school and this too is not looked upon favorably.” According to Brown University, “The very fact that they want to take it online instead will raise eyebrows. If they are taking it anyway, why don’t they just stay in class? If there is a scheduling conflict with another advanced course and the school endorses the change for that reason, then we’ll accept that, but if they are simply substituting an online option for an in-class option, we will be less understanding.”

Colleges review the final transcript and use it to gauge future performance based on the strength of the courses your teen takes. If colleges find out that they have dropped courses after they were admitted, it could be seen as grounds for revoking an offer of admission. And honestly, it’s not worth the risk.

Encourage your teen to stick it out. It’s a good lesson in perseverance and it will set a pattern for their college courses when they are tempted to drop them as well. And it will save the disappointment of admission being revoked at the last minute!

1. @SuzanneShaffer-The definitive Parent College Coach (helping parents help their college-bound teen navigate the college maze).
2. @4CollegeParents–University Parent’s twitter account. Great information for parents of college-bound teens.
3. @CollegeVisit–Everything you need to know about college visits from parents, students and experts.
4. @CollegeBlogs–Awesome advice about everything you need to know about college admissions.
5. @SaveCollegeCost–The BEST financial advice around for parents and college-bound teens.
6. @SheldonWordNerd–SAT help (hook your teen up with this guy!)
7. @SusanPosluszny–A career counselor with some GREAT career advice for college-bound teens.
8. @MyCollegeGuide–As always, great information about college and all things related to college.
9. @USATodayCollege–College news from an excellent news source.
10. @VideoCoach–Offering videos with all sorts of college advice and help.
11. @FastWebdotcom–A scholarship site that posts scholarship opportunities.
12. @TheCollegeGuide–Great blogs about college life and topics related to college issues.
13. @CollegeWeekLive–An online virtual college fair offering live events and chats.
14. @Scholarshipscom–A scholarship site that posts scholarship opportunities.
15. @Cappexcom–A college matching, search, and scholarship site for college-bound teens.
16. @NYTimesCollege–A college news blog offering up-to-the-minute news and Q&A.
17. @MoneyMgmt101–Helping college-bound teens and their parents make wise money choices.
18. @CampusCommons–Offering an informative and fun blog for college students.
19. @IHEAdmissions–Information related to higher education (great articles and news reports).
20. @CheapScholar–Helping students and their parents find college funding and bargains.
21. @EntrepreneurEDU–Tweeting about entrepreneurial opportunities in higher education.
22. @gilrogers–An admissions officer that tweets information about admissions applications and the students who apply.
23. @zinch–Tweets about scholarships and finding the “perfect fit” college.
24. @TheCampusBuzz–Tons of articles related to college.
25. @CollegeCalendar–Tips for college-bound teens about staying organized and preparing for admissions.
26. @CollegeSurfing–Great tweets about college news, college admissions and college information.
27. @MyUsearch–Follow this twitterer for the latest college information and news.
28. @Unigo–Articles about college and higher education.
29. @CollegeBlender–Making it easier to connect to college student, faculty, and alumni blogs.
30. @MindFish–A smarter and more fun way to take on standardized tests. (pass this one on to your kiddos!)
    

Our guest blog post today is by Susan Posluszny, the founder of OPTIONS for Career & Life Planning, specializing in unique programs and services to support students with college major and career planning. Susan is a Master Career Counselor with over 25 years of career counseling experience including 18 years as a college career center director. She is the author of In Search of a College Major & Career Direction, an interactive program designed to support teens and young adults with choosing a college major and career path.Her career counseling and coaching practice is located in New Boston, NH. Subscribe to Susan’s e-newsletter, Career Options, at www.collegesandmajors.com

While watching the Food Network channel one day, I happened upon a series called ‘Chefography’.  This episode of Chefography featured a biographical account of Wolfgang Puck’s journey to success.  I knew little about this renowned chef but I was intrigued since I’d recently been to Disney World and had a great experience at his restaurant, Wolfgang Puck Café, in Downtown Disney.  While annual revenue from his cluster of businesses now averages millions of dollars, his father did not approve of his career interest and his early career experiences were quite shaky.

At the tender age of 14, Puck left his home to work as an apprentice in a hotel kitchen.  Evidently, young Puck was a bit of a klutz and the chef threw him out and sent him back home to his parents.  He was ashamed to face his father with the news of his job loss since his father was against this career choice.  Dreading going home, he spent hours on a bridge contemplating suicide while looking over a river that ran through town. Eventually, Puck went back and hid in the hotel’s basement, peeling potatoes for the kitchen workers, until the chef discovered him two weeks later.  The chef appreciated Puck’s tenacity and made arrangements for him to apprentice in another hotel’s kitchen.  Puck’s career took numerous twists and turns over time as he honed his culinary skills and began his ventures as a restaurant owner.

As I watched this show, I couldn’t help but imagine the emotions that surged through Puck as he contemplated facing his father or committing suicide.  It’s natural for children to want to please their parents and fear of parental scorn can weigh heavily on a child.  If young Puck had committed suicide, would his father have realized the role his influence played in the choice to end his life?  As I reflected further on Puck’s life and career, I couldn’t help but wonder what his father must think of his son’s career decision now that he’s a successful businessman and one of America’s most famous and influential chefs.  I expect that he no longer considers his son’s decision to have been a poor one.

Research that I conducted while working as a college career center director revealed that parents are the number one influence in the career and college major choices made by their children.  That influence may be subtle, and beyond the conscious awareness of the child, or not so subtle as was the case with young Puck and his father.  Now I suppose you could argue that his father’s influence actually helped to lead young Puck to success.  You might say that what helped Puck to hang in there, when the going got tough, was wanting to avoid hearing his father say, ‘I told you so’.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t help think that there are better ways to influence a child.

As parents, it can be most challenging to support a child’s career decision when it goes against the grain of our own personal values and the future we envision for that child.  Yet, we can never know what the future holds and where a chosen path may lead.  As children grow, they need to cultivate a sense of self in order to one day make their own way in this world.  Along with a growing sense of self, they also need to develop confidence in their ability to take positive action towards their career goals.  This includes learning how to identify their career and lifestyle preferences, how to explore career options that match those preferences, and where to go to gain the skills and life experiences that will move them in a direction of their own choosing.  Parents can help their children to build self confidence by telling them they believe in their ability to take positive action on their own behalf.  Parents can also facilitate a growing sense of self by encouraging their children to engage in activities and experiences that let them explore and reality test their career interests, so that they are making informed choices.  Yes, as parents, we are the number one influence in the lives of our children.  It’s up to us to decide the form that our influence will take.

If you would like to contact Susan or find out more information about the services she provides, you can contact her at:

Her websites: www.careeroptions4me.com and www.collegesandmajors.com

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/susanposluszny

Email:  susan@careeroptions4me.com

Heads up, traditionalists! A radical new idea promotes kissing the four-year academic program buh-bye and saying hello to a three-year system.

As accustomed as we are to its infrastructure, it would take some serious shaking up to rattle the U.S. education system. Yet Robert Zemsky, chairman of the Learning Alliance for Higher Education at the University of Pennsylvania and author of Making Reform Work: The Case for Transforming American Higher Education, is advocating for major changes on university campuses — most notably a three-year college program.

Zemsky argues that given today’s economic, political and technological climate, it’s time for Americans to minimize cost, unnecessary resources and wasted time repeating coursework. His proposed plan would cause a drastic uplifting of the current system, impacting high schools as well. But it is Zemsky’s hope that reform ultimately would spawn a more streamlined institution. While the government might not be ready to back such lofty plans, the real question is: Are you?

How will students benefit from such reform?
According to Professor Zemsky, shifting to a more sequenced, regimented three-year program will save students time and money — cutting tuition costs by a whopping 25 percent. This is less moolah out of your pocket, not to mention additional interest that builds up as you work to pay off hefty loans. At the very foundation, students would pay for 90 credits over the typical 120.

In a contemporary society where minimizing time and financial expenditures ranks high on to-do lists, it seems almost given that a new system should be put into place. Right? Not necessarily. For one, the program basically assumes all undergrads will go on for a post-grad or masters degree. “If you want college to help vocationally, you have to go beyond the undergrad,” says Zemsky. Under the new system, college would be a breeding ground whereby students learn the basics of a particular trade. It is then in graduate school that learning would become truly vocational.

So how would high schools be affected by this change?
High school seniors are infamously plagued by “senioritis” and finding ways to sidestep mundane assignments. Zemsky proposes doing away with wasteful course schedules during senior year and instead modeling it after the current freshman year of college. He suggests pre-college seniors take some of the basic humanities and sciences normally taken by college freshmen.

Zemsky tells us in a phone interview, “High schools would need to make assessments at a ninth-grade level as to whether a student is making progress to be ‘college-ready.’ Remediation would take place at this time rather than at the first year of college. The 10th and 11th grade levels would look the same, and the 12th grade would become equivalent to the first year of college. There would be an alignment so that senior year of high school sets students up for freshman year of college.”

What is the downside of a three-year college program?
Some students feel it’s unreasonable to be expected to choose a major and commit at age 18. And indeed, the pressure is really on if the typical college career were condensed. “I don’t know what I plan on majoring in,” says U Penn freshman Brett Levine. “In a three-year program, undecided people have less time to explore new subject areas.

“Even with people who know what they want to study, a three-year program would surely be more demanding if requirements for majors or graduate schools admissions stay the same. A lot of pre-meds and engineering students have difficulty satisfying graduation requirements as is. For undecided students like myself, the variety of course options is incredible. It allows me to explore new subject areas unavailable in high school.”

Says Zemsky: “Students are given endless choices, but it’s expensive. It confuses lots of people, and it takes longer to graduate because they get lost. Redesign the curriculum so it is not a smorgasbord of options.” Say goodbye to elective courses too, because in this system, there’s no room for classes that do not directly relate to your plan of study.

How would such lofty goals be implemented?
Zemsky doesn’t kid himself into thinking this would be a minor undertaking: “To really kick off reform, it would take an invitation from the president. I can’t imagine this happening without presidential leadership.” And, yes, he’s referring to the president of the United States.

In a recent Newsweek article, Zemsky argues his position by stating, “Everything around us — technology, medicine, politics — has changed … and [higher education] will too have to rethink what we are about.”

Still, Levine questions the practicality of Zemsky’s proposal. “A three-year program would essentially make college an even more stressful period. It would probably restrict options for traveling abroad, which many students value. It has many potential benefits for some students. People who know they want to major in economics, political science, Spanish or other relatively less intense majors may only need three years. However, others need four to prepare for graduate school or their desired career.”

And furthermore, Levine adds, “Socially, it obviously restricts the amount of time commonly dubbed ‘the best years of your life.’”

What do you think? Do you think our kids are growing up too fast? Do you think a 3-year degree is a wise educational choice?