Comments on: To Greek or not to Greek

By: Suzanne Shaffer

Suzanne Shaffer — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 01:47:42 +0000

Thanks Andrea for your input. I think there is a reason why “the world” views Greek life the way it does. You know the saying, “a few bad apples spoil the bunch”? Each group has its own bad apples.

In the overall grand scheme of things, I do feel that my daughter’s Greek experience was a positive one. It’s unfortunate that hazing does still occur, even if in rare cases. However, I would agree that they do give a tremendous amount of time and money to charity.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 23:40:48 +0000

Being part of the greek community, I know this is how the world views us. But you asked for a different perspective so here it is:
Greek orgs give the most money to charity of any college org
Greeks on average have better GPAs
I dont know a single person who was only friends with Greeks.
Hazing is very rare. The big stories hit the news, but the positives stay hidden.
Yes it is expensive, and only getting more so, so what do you get for your money? Cheaper housing and food, built in support system, and a network after college.

So, here are my bias’: All the women in my family are greek, save one. We are all in different houses but agree on one thing: the connections we made are still valuable!
Finally, I do know how a parent feels. Baby sis just went thru rush, and still has reservations about the system. Each college is different, and maybe it isnt for her. I still love her, and I tell her, if you tried it ans truely dont like it…drop.

By: Adrienne Duncan

Adrienne Duncan — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 20:06:03 +0000

Hi Suz–
Fair enough: re: 1 parent’s perspective. It’s just really easy for “1 perspective” to get translated into “this happens everywhere” and it doesn’t.

My own fraternity made a big deal of shutting down 3 chapters that hazed its members. (Big ceremony, mock funeral shrouds sending the message “You idiots that did this are dead to us”.) Fraternity HQs don’t take this conduct lying down when they get in the wind of it. Some of them will go so far as to say that a new member who submits to hazing and doesn’t report it is is guilty as those who perpetuate it.

Experiences differ with different people and in different times. My POV is a little more global because I interact with so many different people involved in Greek life in different ways.

By: Suzanne Shaffer

Suzanne Shaffer — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 19:48:01 +0000

Remember…this was from a PARENT’S perspective at the time. And I did state that from the beginning. My “source” wasn’t from that sorority blog, it was just a recommended place to go for help. My source was my own experience.
Perhaps I did not make it clear enough–I thought, in the long run, the sorority was a positive experience. There were just some cons that I think every parent needs to know about before navigating it with their kids.

Hazing. It happened. Sleep deprivation, harassment, forced drinking, etc. It was across the board and I think it was more than just conforming. I’m sure these tactics are monitored, however, it’s an issue that a parent needs to be aware of and could happen.

These things happened in my daughter’s experience. Every person’s experience is different. From a parent’s perspective, the things I saw were not things that I approved of. Were they confined to the Greek life? Probably not. But they were present and did indeed happen.

Thanks for providing the additional link.

By: Adrienne Duncan

Adrienne Duncan — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 19:22:40 +0000

Suzanne–
I love you like my big sis but IMHO, your conclusions have some holes in them. Keep in mind I did NOT pledge a sorority while in college.
Regarding your cons:
“Grades suffered” – most freshmen have trouble adjusting to the increased independence and self-discipline involved in the transition from high school to college. Unless you have a control group that shows that not pledging a sorority during freshman year resulted in better grades, you can’t leave that at their door.
“Drinking” – There was drinking in college before there were fraternities. There is drinking in college even when there is no Greek life. Drinking is a COLLEGE issue, not a Greek issue. See the above point regarding adjusting to the new independence and self-discipline with moving to college.
“Hazing” – are we talking about true hazing or having to conform to certain mandatory events? Not the same thing. Show me a chapter that regularly hazes its members – that is, systematically humiliates or physically or emotionally punishes them, I’ll show you a chapter that is about to have its charter put through the shredder by their own HQ. Is there some reason that you chose to make hazing a strictly Greek issue? Or even a strictly college issue? It isn’t. Check out hazing as it applies to organized sports and even in high schools and you’ll find a much bigger problem. (source: http://www.hazingprevention.org)
“Clique Mentality” – Two words: prove it. Being part of a family doesn’t necessarily translate into being a “clique”. You know better than that. There’s always “that one person” who may take pride in their membership to extremes but to paint everyone with that brush is unfair. And unjustifiable.
“additional costs”. Yes, being part of an organized group costs money and those costs are discussed in the recruitment process. Same is true of any other organized group on campus. Again, why is that strictly a Greek issue when it applies everywhere?

Regarding your source: SureSister is a business run by a woman who joined a sorority in her college years and is selling her experiences to girls and their families who feel they need extra “coaching” to successfully navigate the formal recruitment process. Reviews of the blog and book are mixed across Greek life. For the record, the National Panhellenic Conference (www.npcwomen.org) has specifically chosen to NOT endorse it, or any other enterprise selling such services.

There’s more parent-focused discussion here: http://www.sororityparents.com Disclaimer: this blog is sponsored by the NPC.

{{{HUGZ}}}