I’ve been reading quite a few articles lately about parents complaining about the cost of college admissions advice, test preparation, and parent counseling. I have to wonder what are these parents expecting? Are they being promised things that the admissions professionsals can’t deliver?

So. I did my research. I found a common thread among the complaints and the promises. The so-called professionals were making promises that they could not guarantee:

• We guarantee your child will win thousands of dollars in scholarships
• We promise you that once you use our services, your child will be accepted at an Ivy League College
• If your child takes our college prep course they will make a perfect score on the SAT test
• We are the only ones who know the secrets of getting into college

As a parent, it’s your job to investigate before you spend your money. If they make promises that seem impossible to fulfill, then the odds are they can’t guarantee anything. It’s been my experience that only a handful of professionals truly know the admissions process well enough to guide you and your teen. If you choose to pay someone hefty fees to personally guide your teen, make sure they are members of reputable organizations and certified as a college admissions counselor.

According to a recent article in The New York Times:

“When you say things like, ‘We know the secrets of getting in,’ it kind of implies that it’s not the student’s ability,” said Mark H. Sklarow, executive director of the association, in Fairfax, Va. “It suggests that there’s some kind of underground code.”

….admissions officers say that no outsider can truly predict how a particular applicant might fare.

It’s always your choice on how you spend your money. Whether you choose to employ the services of an admissions counselor or you choose to gather all the information yourself and guide your teen yourself. You have to do what’s best for you and your teen. But remember, there are no guarantees. And there is no substitute for hard work, research and preparation.

Before or at the beginning of your teen’s freshman year, make an appointment to meet with the guidance counselor. This meeting will let the counselor know that you are an involved parent and that you will be taking an active role during your teen’s high school years. It will also serve to establish a relationship between your teen and the counselor which will benefit them in the future as they begin to require more and more help with the college application process.

Here are some questions you should ask at that meeting:

• What basic academic courses do you recommend for students who want to go to college?
• How many years of each academic subject does the high school require for graduation?
• What elective courses do you recommend for college-bound students?
• Can students who are considering college get special help or tutoring?
• What activities can students do at home or over the summer to strengthen their preparation for college?
• What do different colleges (liberal arts, business, technical, community) require in terms of high school grades and SAT or ACT scores?
• What types of local scholarship opportunities are available?
• Do you have scholarship applications available in your office for students to look through?

At this meeting you will also be able to, along with the counselor, map out a course plan for your teen. You and your teen will be able to communicate their interests and desires as it relates to college. This will cement in the counselor’s mind the fact that she is dealing with a motivated, goal-oriented teen with a parent that wants to participate in the process.

—>A word of advice here: Let your teen do most of the talking. The last thing you want to do is plow ahead without anyone getting a word in edgewise. This is the perfect time for you to practice “listening”-to both the counselor and your teen. You can certainly ask questions, but don’t appear to be one of those pushy parents that “demands” attention. This will work against your teen in the long run. Let the counselor know you value their advice and guidance. Don’t pretend to have all the answers (even if you think you do). Utilize this time to gather information and begin a 4-year relationship with an invaluable educational professional.

When my daughter entered college, her incoming freshman class was required to purchase an IBM laptop. It was, at that time, state of the art technology. She was attending a business college with a trading room and the laptop was considered a valuable tool in her business education. She didn’t even own a desktop computer at the time. It was quite exciting for her and also impressive that the school would offer a discount and keep the laptop updated with software and hardware updates for the four years while she attended.

The times they are a-changin. Not even 10 years later, another university is blazing a trail with its students. But this time instead of laptops, they are providing their students with an IPhones or an Ipod touch. Abilene Christian University in Texas is the first university in the nation to provide this technology for their incoming freshman. According to ACU’s Chief Information officer:

[Students] will use an iPhone or iPod touch to receive homework alerts, answer in-class surveys and quizzes, get directions to their professors’ offices, and check their meal and account balances – among more than 15 other useful web applications already developed.

Kudos to ACU for recognizing the value of these devices and for allowing their incoming freshmen to benefit from their forward thinking.

Click here to read the entire article.

FIRE’s Freedom in Academia Essay Contest

2009 Awards
One first place winner will be awarded a $5,000 college scholarship.
Two second place winners will each receive a $2,500 college scholarship.
Five runners-up will each receive a $1000 college scholarship.

Deadlines
The final day to submit an entry is November 6, 2009. The winners will be announced on December 11, 2009.

FIRE’s Mission
FIRE’s mission is to defend and sustain individual rights at America’s colleges and universities. These rights include freedom of speech, legal equality, due process, religious liberty, and sanctity of conscience?the essential qualities of individual liberty and dignity. FIRE’s core mission is to protect the unprotected and to educate the public and communities of concerned Americans about the threats to these rights on our campuses and about the means to preserve them.

Click here for all the scholarship details!

It doesn’t matter how close you were before they entered high school, the tension always mounts and the temptation is to drift apart. It takes a concerted effort on your part to stay in touch with their world. They are naturally moving toward independence and we are naturally grasping to keep them from growing up. And thus begins the ying and yang of parent/teenager relationships.

During high school your teens will experience every form of human emotion: joy, sadness, rejection, fear of failure, excitement, disappointment, heartache, love, and the list goes on and on. Most of the emotions are extreme and always seem like the end of the world to them. It’s hard to convey to them that “this too shall pass” and they will realize as they get older that their life is just beginning.

They are looking ahead to the future while living in the present. Keeping on track and keeping their eyes on the prize (graduation and college) can be challenging. As their parent coach and encourager, and the all-knowing, all-wise adult in their life, it’s up to you to stay connected and help them maintain their focus.

Here are a few of my own tips to help you stay connected with your teen:

Find that time when you can sit with them and listen. This is not easy, because many teens rarely sit still for very long to have a conversation. I would sit in my daughter’s room while she picked out her clothes and dressed to go out. You’ll be amazed at how much information you can gather if you simply listen.

Share something they enjoy. It might not be your choice of activities, but if you share a common interest it gives you something to talk about. An activity as simple as watching their favorite television show with them, or making a trip to the mall to search for the all-important clothing purchase will offer opportunities for you to listen and for them to open up to you about their lives.

Let them make mistakes, but be there when they do. Allowing them to make choices and experience the consequences of those choices will prepare them for those times when you aren’t there to tell them what to do.

Pick your battles. It’s easy as a parent to constantly give advice, even to the point of overly controlling their lives. Save those showdowns for the biggies: drinking, smoking, drugs, and sex. Don’t stress so much over their clothing choices or their hair styles. They are teenagers. They want to fit in. If you’re not always battling them over the small things, they will be more receptive when you do put your foot down.

Staying connected with your teen can be challenging, but the rewards far outweigh the difficulties. When your teen turns to you and finally says, “thanks Mom” or “thanks Dad”, it’s all worth it!